We’ve all been there {Highly Sensitive Leader or not}… you’re having a great day… you’re in full alignment with your choices… making progress… then somehow, out of somewhere you’re positive momentum takes an ear splitting, screeching detour… off your chosen path.
Your heart rate kicks up… your senses go on high alert to ascertain the potential “danger”… & before you know it, there’s no choice but to take the unexpected, unpleasant detour.
Here you go… hang on… it’s going to be a bumpy ride, like it or not {spoken in the accent & tone from the bus driver in Harry Potter, ha!}.
Not going into the full story {I come from a long line of COMPLETE story tellers & to appreciate the full story, it has been known to take awhile}… but I’ll attempt a short version. 🙂
Yesterday was Monday.
I. Love. Mondays. {Tues ~ Fridays are for my biz & clients, Sat ~ Sun are for family & friends. Mondays are Just For Me. Priceless for so many reasons… yes that’s another story!}
While my husband went into the office he rented in town for the season, I decided to stay home, on our 32′ Freedom Sailboat, Twilight. Our “summer home” for some much wanted Me Time.
I had a wonderful, calm, active, energizing, fulfilling time on my paddleboard {only my 2nd time this season, so I was quite giddy!}… had gone through some writing exercises… & was just getting ready to either dive into writing a blog post scheduled to go live this week {temp replaced by this one!} or to work on some biz planning {super fun & exciting stuff coming up}… when he came home earlier than expected.
Normally, it’s not a challenge, but a couple of things…
My Concentration & Focus was Interrupted. My highly sensitive brain picks up a ton of subtleties, so is very easily distracted. Because of this I am very deliberate about my environment so I can “get into” my creativity & projects. I also remembered later that I don’t do unexpected transitions well. That’s normal for Highly Sensitives.
He was in a Non~Happy Mood. My small attempt at lightening up the mood didn’t work. As Highly Sensitives, we’re directly affected by other people’s moods & energies, most especially affected by those we care about. I’m usually quite aware of this & can “protect” myself, but I was momentarily thrown, so that awareness unfortunately thwarted me.
His mood did not lighten up & we had to make a decision on who was going to go to the next town to do laundry & shopping.
I mistakenly got my hopes up that he would volunteer & the thought of having the evening to myself to continue felt right {to me!}.
To make a long story short {& some boring personal details}, I got agitated because we couldn’t be decisive about who was going to go.
I begrudgingly packed up my laptop & got ready “volunteering” to go, thinking I would try & write the blog post at the laundromat.
I was trying to {in my brain} be okay with this sudden derailment of plans… it’s okay… I can be flexible… he does a lot to fix & work on the boat etc… this is fine… Unfortunately my body was telling a different story… I was driving & started to have a challenge seeing the road with tears flooding my eyes {it’s happening again now as I write!}.
I hesitated for many minutes, but finally reached out to a friend just to say hi & share a funny comment that came to mind of how I should deal with this pent up emotion.
By the time I got back to the boat, it was 3~1/2 hrs later {9:30pm}…. already totally exhausted, I made my smoothie for the next day {my food for the office}, did the dishes after, then got ready for bed… calming a bit, but not back to “normal” yet.
Reading before I went to bed did in fact calm me, but I ended up staying up too late {around midnight}… & when I woke up this morning, I felt like I got hit by a train… at least mentally & emotionally… I had no energy, & not even close to feeling fully rested yet.
I resisted the urge to stay in bed & get more sleep & made myself take action & get ready for my work day.
During my breakfast at the office, I processed my thoughts, feelings, emotions in my journal & was moved by a very strong pull / desire to figure out a set “after” process or solution I could use to help pull me back quicker & came up with the 6 steps in the graphic {yes there might be more or better ones, but this is what came out of my processing, so not questioning, but sharing}. As soon as they were written, I felt lighter, happy, & inspired to share with YOU… so here you go…
I’m the very first person to suggest that We Each Are Unique & encourage all to Trust Your Gut / Intuition to figure out what works for YOU, but I’ll share a bit more behind this process that came to me & will experiment with following from now on.
Reach out to friends for a Quick Boost. Aren’t we fortunate to have some close friends who think the world of us that we can reach out to in a moment of vulnerability & ask for a quick self confidence boost? I certainly am & will be doing this going forward. Yes, I’m also a verbal processor, but this isn’t my intention for the reach out {although I’m always open to do just that if I feel it’s convenient for the other person}. The idea is just a quick positive chemical, mental, & emotional boost that acts as a Pattern Interrupt for the brain.
Get Calm / Grounded. This is what I will strive to do better next time around. This can be as easy as closing my eyes & doing some deep breathing. I love nature, but with my To Do List over my head, taking the time to do this would have pushed back my time even further.
Process. I deliberately chose to do this in the morning, not last night {I also knew that being tired makes my emotional state prolonged, so sleep was the best short term medicine for many reasons.}. I could also feel my gut saying this morning that I wasn’t allowed to continue with my day until this was properly done. I used my gratitude journal & it worked beautifully as usual!
Lessons Learned. During my journal writing, I wrote down lessons learned. This was both expected & eye opening. As a Highly Sensitive, I strive for comfort in every area of my life. If I can raise my awareness to lessons obviously meant for me, then I have the potential of either shortening or eliminating this situation next time as my brain will recognize the signs.
Positive Boost. As a Highly Sensitive, deep processor, I want to deliberately get my brain off the track of replaying the situation etc in my head & back onto the positive. I’m doing this now as I type by listening to this Relaxing Music. Again, it’s a Pattern Interrupt for my brain. I also have a set of privately saved positive sayings / affirmations in my Instagram account & journal things I’m grateful for & things that I AM to continue programming my brain for positivity on a daily basis.
End with Love. In business & in life, I’m so very fortunate to have others on the same wavelength as me when it comes to the importance of Love. Be intentional with who who do & don’t spend time with. Love Yourself first {compassionate, grant yourself some leeway, be kind & patient & take care of yourself}. Love your clients. Love your family & friends. Choose love.
When I finished writing these steps, I immediately felt lighter, calmer & with hope renewed that I can handle anything that comes my way.
Derailments are a part of life, no matter how much we intend & try otherwise. Let’s not fight them, but go with the flow & help ourselves & be there for others to get back on track as soon as we can.
So, what do you think? Were any of these helpful? What else would you add? or What else do you do to help get on track emotionally? Please share with me below.
If I can help just 1 person, then this was worth it. Please share this with your audience if you find it valuable, too.
Remember…
#IBelieveInYou #WeGotThis & #LetsRock
Much love, gratitude, & appreciation for YOU,
Crystal 🙂